What Got You Here Won't Get You There
The behavior that made you successful is now holding you back. Are you willing to see it?
You got here because you win. Because you push. Because you have an opinion on everything. Because you solve problems faster than anyone else. Because you know how to deliver results no matter what it takes.
Those behaviors made you successful. They got you promoted. They got you noticed. They got you the opportunity you have right now.
And they’re the exact behaviors that will prevent you from going any further.
Marshall Goldsmith, the executive coach who’s worked with more CEOs than almost anyone alive, built his career around one profound insight: The very characteristics that got you where you are are often the ones holding you back from where you need to go.
The drive to win every argument? That made you indispensable as an individual contributor. Now it makes you impossible to work with as a leader.
The need to be the smartest person in the room? That got you promoted. Now it’s preventing your team from developing their own thinking.
The habit of adding your opinion to every conversation? That demonstrated your value when you were building credibility. Now it’s devaluing everyone else’s contributions.
You succeeded in spite of certain behaviors, not because of them. And the higher you go, the more those behaviors become obstacles instead of assets.
This weekend, it’s time to ask yourself: What got me here that won’t get me there?
💭 This Weekend’s Reflection
Goldsmith identifies twenty habits that hold successful people back. But underneath all of them is one fundamental problem: We defend the behaviors that made us successful, even when they’ve stopped working. We cling to the habits that built our reputation, even when they’re now damaging it.
This weekend, I want you to examine five behaviors that might have served you well in the past but are limiting you now. This isn’t about shame. It’s about awareness. Because you can’t change what you can’t see.
Do you need to win every conversation, and what is that need costing you in trust and followership?
Think about your last three meetings. How many times did you let someone else be right, even when you had a better answer? How many times did you resist the urge to correct someone’s thinking, even when you could see the flaw?
Here’s what Goldsmith found: Successful people have a desperate need to win. Not just win the big stuff, win everything. Win the debate about which restaurant to choose for lunch. Win the argument about the best route to the airport. Win every conversation about strategy, even when winning damages the relationship.
That need to win served you well when you were building your reputation. It showed you were smart, capable, engaged. But now? Now it’s exhausting people. It’s making your team stop sharing ideas because they know you’ll just explain why your idea is better. It’s creating a culture where people agree with you publicly and then do what they think is right privately.
I watch leaders do this every day. Someone brings an idea. It’s a decent idea. Maybe not perfect, but workable. And the leader immediately jumps in with, “That’s good, but what if we did this instead?” They think they’re being helpful. They think they’re demonstrating value. But what they’re actually doing is teaching their team that their ideas will never be good enough.
The higher you go, the more your need to win costs you. Because leadership isn’t about being the smartest person in the room. It’s about making other people winners. And you can’t make other people winners if you’re constantly demonstrating that you’re smarter than them.
Ask yourself honestly: How many conversations do you “win” that you don’t need to win? How many times do you assert your viewpoint just to prove you’re right, even when the stakes are incredibly low? And what would change if you let other people be right more often?
Do you add your “two cents” to every conversation, and is it actually helping, or is it showing everyone you don’t trust them?
This is one of Goldsmith’s classic habits: The need to add value. It sounds positive. It sounds like engagement. It sounds like you’re being helpful.
But here’s what it actually is: It’s the compulsive need to insert your opinion into every discussion, every decision, every plan. Someone brings you a fully-formed idea. It’s good. It’s workable. It’s ready to execute. And you say, “That’s great! What if we also added X?”
You think you’re improving the idea. You think you’re showing you’re engaged and thinking strategically. But here’s what you’re actually communicating: “Your idea wasn’t quite good enough. It needed me to make it complete.”
This behavior made sense when you were an individual contributor. Your value was in your contributions. Your ideas mattered because you were responsible for execution. But now? Now your job isn’t to have the best ideas. It’s to create an environment where other people develop and execute great ideas.
I used to do this constantly. Someone would bring me a plan. I’d nod along. Then I’d say, “Yes, and what if we also...” I thought I was being collaborative. I thought I was demonstrating engagement. But what I was actually doing was making it impossible for anyone to own their own work. Because even when they did everything right, I’d still insert myself to “improve” it.
One of my best managers finally called me on it. She said, “When you add your ideas to my plans, even when they’re good additions, what you’re really telling me is that nothing is ever good enough until you’ve touched it.” That hit hard. Because she was right.
The higher you go, the more your suggestions become interpreted as orders. You think you’re just sharing ideas. They hear mandates. You think you’re being helpful. They hear criticism. You think you’re demonstrating value. They hear, “I don’t trust you to figure this out on your own.”
How many times this week did you add your two cents to something that was already good enough? How many times did you insert yourself into a conversation not because your input was needed, but because you couldn’t resist demonstrating your thinking?
Do you resist feedback by explaining why you’re actually right, and is that defense mechanism preventing you from growing?
Goldsmith calls this “making excuses.” Someone gives you feedback. Valid feedback. Constructive feedback. And your immediate response is to explain why the situation was different, why they don’t understand the context, why you actually made the right choice given the circumstances.
You think you’re providing important context. You think you’re ensuring they understand your reasoning. But what you’re actually doing is rejecting the feedback. You’re saying, “You’re wrong to see it that way.” And you’re teaching people to stop giving you feedback because you won’t receive it anyway.
This behavior protected you when you were building credibility. When people questioned your decisions, you needed to defend them. When people challenged your judgment, you needed to explain your thinking. That was appropriate then. It’s not appropriate now.
Now, when someone gives you feedback, your job isn’t to explain why you’re right. Your job is to say, “Thank you. Help me understand more.” Your job is to receive it, even if you don’t immediately agree with it. Your job is to create an environment where people feel safe telling you hard truths.
I spent years explaining away feedback. “That wasn’t what I meant.” “If you understood the full context...” “What actually happened was...” Every explanation was technically accurate. But every explanation sent the same message: “I’m not actually interested in your perception. I’m interested in correcting your perception.”
The cost was enormous. People stopped telling me when I was wrong. They stopped sharing concerns. They stopped giving me the information I needed to improve because they knew I’d just explain it away.
When was the last time someone gave you constructive feedback and your first instinct wasn’t to defend yourself? When was the last time you just said, “Thank you for telling me that. I need to think about it”? That’s not weakness. That’s growth.
Are you withholding recognition because you’re focused on what’s next, and is that starving your team of the appreciation they need?
This is the subtle one. The one that doesn’t feel like a problem. Goldsmith calls it “failing to give proper recognition.” You’re not actively criticizing. You’re just...focused on the next thing. Always moving forward. Always looking at what still needs to be done instead of what just got accomplished.
Someone delivers a great result. You nod. You say, “Good job. Now let’s talk about Q4.” Someone solves a difficult problem. You acknowledge it briefly, then immediately pivot to the next challenge. You think you’re keeping momentum. You think you’re driving forward. But what you’re actually doing is teaching your team that nothing they do is ever enough.
This behavior served you when you were an individual contributor with impossibly high standards. It drove you to keep improving. It kept you hungry. It made you successful. But now? Now it’s demoralizing the people who work for you.
Research shows that leaders who support their teams have three-point-four times more engaged workers. And support includes recognition. Genuine, specific, meaningful recognition. Not just “good job” while you’re already thinking about the next task.
I learned this when one of my best performers quit. Exit interview, she said, “I could never do enough. Every accomplishment was immediately followed by the next assignment. I felt like I was running on a treadmill that just kept getting faster.” She was right. I was so focused on driving results that I forgot to acknowledge the results we were achieving.
How often do you genuinely recognize achievement before moving to the next thing? How often do you let someone sit in the satisfaction of accomplishment before you’re already asking about what’s next? Your team needs to know that success matters—not just as a stepping stone to more success, but as a moment worth acknowledging.
If you had to create a “stop doing” list instead of a “to-do” list, what behavior would be at the top?
Final question. And this is the one that cuts to the heart of Goldsmith’s insight.
He says, “We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don’t spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop.” Most leadership development is about addition. Add this skill. Develop this capability. Learn this technique. But real growth often comes from subtraction. Stop this behavior. Eliminate this habit. Let go of this need.
Right now, think about your leadership. Not what you need to do more of. What you need to do less of. Or stop doing entirely.
Stop needing to be the smartest person in the room. Stop adding your opinion to every conversation. Stop defending yourself when you get feedback. Stop withholding recognition. Stop whatever behavior got you here but is now preventing you from getting there.
Here’s the hard part: That behavior doesn’t feel like a problem to you. It feels like a strength. It feels like what makes you valuable. It feels like who you are. And that’s exactly why it’s so hard to let go of. Because changing it feels like changing your identity.
But Goldsmith’s research is clear: Making small behavioral changes doesn’t mean you’re changing your personality or who you are. Tweaking specific habits can have a profound impact, and nobody will think lesser of you for making these changes. In fact, they’ll respect you more for having the self-awareness and courage to grow.
What behavior got you where you are that’s now holding you back? And more importantly, are you willing to stop it?
Because you can’t get to the next level by doing more of what got you to this level. You get to the next level by letting go of what’s no longer serving you.
What This Means for Monday
Monday morning, you’ll walk into work as the same person you’ve always been. Same strengths. Same habits. Same behaviors that have served you well for years, maybe decades.
But now you’ve seen them differently. You’ve examined them not as strengths, but as potential limitations. You’ve asked whether the behaviors that got you here will get you there.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth: Change is optional. You can read this, nod along, and continue doing exactly what you’ve always done. Nobody will force you to change. Nobody can make you let go of the behaviors that feel like your identity.
But also know this: If you keep doing what got you here, you’ll keep getting what you’ve got. If you want different results, different impact, different levels of influence, you have to be willing to stop doing some of the things that made you successful up until now.
Goldsmith’s clients pay six figures for this insight. You’re getting it for free. But it only has value if you actually do something with it.
So Monday morning, pick one behavior. Just one. Not the one you should stop. The one you’re actually willing to stop. And commit to noticing it. Every time it shows up. Every time you feel the urge to win the unnecessary conversation, add your two cents, defend your decision, or move past recognition without pausing.
Notice it. Name it. And choose differently.
Because what got you here won’t get you there. And the only person who can close that gap is you.
🔗 This Week’s Newsletters
Monday: The Leadership Table - The 20 Behaviors That Hold Leaders Back
Wednesday: Breaking Bread - The Daily Behavior Check
Friday: The Mindful Leader - What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
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